Finding Your Blind Spots

Not everyone is committed to personal growth. I suppose few people actually know what it is. In my mind, personal growth involves expanding mentally, emotionally and spiritually. All three of these involve relationship with others as well as self, which includes the physical body.

One area we can grow is doing something about those things we know about ourselves and want to address.

These are things no one has to tell us about. We know them whether we do anything about them or not. Some of them are seen by others.

Perhaps it is a lack of organization... or anger... or difficulty in relationships.

There are also things we know about ourselves that no one else knows. Such as struggling with guilt over something you did and never told anyone. It isn't unusual for an individual to look as if s/he is confident and self-assured when, if anyone could feel what s/he feels, s/he is filled with insecurity and self-doubt.



Then, of course, there are the things about ourselves that we are blind to. We may not see how our sarcasm or anger hurts others. I remember interacting with a woman who truly believed she was confrontational in a positive manner. What she refused to see was that she was demeaning. If someone disagreed with her she wouldn't exchange ideas, she would attack. She did not, as she believed, move people to a discussion of ideas. Instead, she pushed people away from her.

If you truly want to expand as an individual and become a healthier and stronger person, you need to know where your personal blind spots are. In the Christian Scriptures this concept is found in "take the beam out of your own eye before you attempt to take the splinter out of another's eye"... or you'll harm the other because you can't see. (I added that last part.)



Ask them what you do that bothers them. This is daring. If you live with someone, I'm sure you don't have to ask. Your spouse, partner, children or roommate is probably very free with that information.

Have you paid any attention to it? Do you take them seriously or simply blow it off because "that's their issue, not mine." You can also ask them what you can do to improve your relationship with them. You must then take it to heart and follow through.

What do others do that irritate or anger you? When you're upset because someone doesn't do what s/he says, begin actively looking for how you don't keep your commitments. When you find one, don't just make an excuse. Everyone has an excuse. If you move through you life on excuses you'll never grow as an individual.



Personal growth is not for wimps. It takes the courage to look within oneself and confront the truth as well as looking outside of self and listening to what others have to say about you.

Here are some strategies you can use, all involving making lists.

First, make a list of all the things about yourself you are unhappy about. Next to each one write why you haven't done anything about it. The area for growth is not in what you are unhappy about. It's in the "Why" you haven't done anything about it.

Second, make a list of all the things people tell you about yourself. By the way, this includes complements as well. Next to the criticisms write down whether or not they are valid and, if they are, your excuse for not doing anything about them. If the criticism has appeared more than twice and you refuse to believe it, write down why.

As for the complements you don't believe, when are you going to risk believing something good about yourself?



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