The idea of social intelligence is a new idea that explores how we interact and influence people and make friends. In some ways your social intelligence means a lot more than your actual IQ. If you have a high social IQ then you can be more successful than people with a lower social IQ, but higher actual IQ.

We all know someone who is working well below their means and doing things they’re far too smart for.

These are seven simple steps to increasing your social intelligence.

1. Smile more!

Smiling is how people normally behave and, if someone isn’t smiling, it’s really odd. When you smile you make other people feel comfortable and you make yourself feel better so smile and smile often.

2. Be more sensitive

As well as being more emotional in yourself you need to recognize the emotions others are feeling. You can understand how a person feels by studying them. Study the way they act and speak, as well as their facial expressions, to understand more about how they feel. You should also consider how you would feel in their situation. Everyone is different but not that different. We still have lots in common. You may also find that focusing on how someone else feels gives you a break from focusing too much on your own emotions.

3. Listen more

When someone else is talking are you actually listening to them, or are you just waiting until you can speak again? Everyone likes to talk to a good listener. It validates us to know that we have someone’s complete attention. You should also maintain eye contact with whoever is speaking. Don’t look around or fidget. Wait until they finish speaking to start talking yourself and be patient.

4. Maintain eye contact

It can be difficult to read people when you aren’t looking at them. You can’t read a book without looking at the words after all! If you avoid eye contact you also give them the message that you are shy or are submissive. Maintaining eye contact with someone makes you come across as more serious and dominant than they are. Where you look is also significant. When you look at their eyes or higher you make the conversation seem more formal. When you look at their nose or mouth it seems less formal.

5. Study body language

It’s believed that people say more with their body than they do with their mouth. While it’s very easy to lie with your words it’s a lot harder to do it with your body. Watch people and see how they use gestures, eye contact, and position their bodies. Observe people as they interact with others when you can’t hear what they say. What does their body tell you about the situation? Also take the time to study up. There’s tons of information in books and on the internet about body language.

6. There’s no need to be aggressive when you’re assertive

Assertive people command our respect. It can be very annoying when people avoid subjects or don’t get to the point. It’s important to remember that being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive though. Being assertive is when you are direct with your opinions, needs, and feelings. Saying what you would like is being assertive. Demanding something is being aggressive and shows a lack of respect. Be assertive but not aggressive to show you respect the opinions of other people.

7. Maintain healthy relationships

Relationships change all the time so it’s important that you maintain healthy relationships and prioritise them to make them grow. This is another part of life that requires you to be assertive. If you are passive about your relationships then you’ll only find problems.

How high would you say your social IQ is? Your social IQ is made up of your ability to communicate and be social. It’s getting harder to grow and maintain a social IQ thanks to electronic communication too. If you feel that you’re smart and are struggling with life more than you should be then take some steps to improve your social intelligence and see the changes it creates in your life.

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